In which on New Year's comes rain
Jan. 1st, 2011 07:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
layangabiFirst, Happy New Years, friends. <3 May all your New Year's Resolutions bear fruit.
There's ... well. I hope to make a cheery New Year's post later, because there are things to be happy about and grateful for. But I currently a black cloud over my head
It feels stupid that during Christmas season and New Year's Day, I'm battling off a black cloud that has no reason to be there.
I'm so goddamn frustrated that it's difficult for me to connect---with my parents, my brothers, my extended family---my colleagues at work. That I can barely converse with my 80 year old grandmother who asked me to sit with her, or laugh with my brothers and charming, lively cousins. I feel like a slug amidst a family of birds. I don't feel liked, only loved out of obligation.
So here I am, trying to batt down a depressive bout so it doesn't affect my family, who've been frustrated about dealing with it and me for years every single damn time I come home.
There's ... well. I hope to make a cheery New Year's post later, because there are things to be happy about and grateful for. But I currently a black cloud over my head
It feels stupid that during Christmas season and New Year's Day, I'm battling off a black cloud that has no reason to be there.
I'm so goddamn frustrated that it's difficult for me to connect---with my parents, my brothers, my extended family---my colleagues at work. That I can barely converse with my 80 year old grandmother who asked me to sit with her, or laugh with my brothers and charming, lively cousins. I feel like a slug amidst a family of birds. I don't feel liked, only loved out of obligation.
So here I am, trying to batt down a depressive bout so it doesn't affect my family, who've been frustrated about dealing with it and me for years every single damn time I come home.
