layangabi

What I find hopeful

Sun, 08 Sep 2013 22:36:27 GMT

Van Badham on the 2013 elections: There's little doubt that Rupert Murdoch's newspapers deliver prime ministerial victories in Australia... But that these backings at their most fervent can now only deliver a 1.2% is yet another suggestion in a broader dialogue that the days of the political influence of old media may be numbered.

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In which Elaine discovers premium conditions for writing:

Sat, 06 Jul 2013 08:34:32 GMT

1) Fifteen minute walk

2) A cafe

3) At least one hour's procrastination

3) 2 cups of coffee. (2. not 1. Not 3. 2 shall be the number of cups to be consumed, no more and no less.

4) 1 tiny little baby cake

5) No sensible food for four hours.

The downside of this is feeling immensely ill once you *do* finally eat something sensible. But I have five rewritten pages of a chapter 4!

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Home and home again

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 01:16:08 GMT

Because I promised I would blog about black swans once we were settled:

There's an immense flock of them, about a hundred swans feeding everyday in the bay area. On a grey day, they look like capail uisce, something fey and very wild and not serene at all.

Briony and I spent a quiet morning in our new flat, after a weekend of entertaining family. My Mom had flown over for the weekend and we finally got to have her stay over and cook for her: roast chicken and vegetables, drunken pears with chocolate sauce. All of it Briony's doing (thank you dear heart). I think Mom adored it---adored the beach, adored the quiet, and the blue water just a five minute's walk away from our house. The neighborhood Briony and I live in is very different to the places we've chosen to stay it for most our adult lives.There are so many wild things outside: ibis and pelicans, egrets and seagulls diving for fish.

It's been a mad beginning to the year with the move. It feels good to have this.

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In which Elaine finishes a novel and tries to be human again.

Sat, 29 Sep 2012 07:15:04 GMT

So as of this afternoon, 84,500 words later, I've finished the 2012 edits of The Disappearance of Rafael Panaligan. *collapses in exhaustion* I...I hope this this will be the start of me learning to be human again, and not a hermit.

And this is the last novel I'm getting into without a thorough strategy, or outline from the start. Holy hell, what took my X-men/Transformer YA spacepunk novel so long? ;___;

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In which Elaine is almost eight and twenty, is melancholy about it and is sick from school

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 01:22:38 GMT

Mom and Dad flew in after there Continuum weekend to celebrate my 28th birthday with me. These visits are often a cause of stress and anxiety, because there is a prerequisite that daughter spends time away from Briony, and in this particular visit, Mum and Dad insisted on visiting house, meeting Carlos and Esther for the first time and could not give a specific time for when up until the day. And Briony and me with a messy, messy room because we are terrible at keeping things neat and because the girls don't help much either. Stress, stress all around.

There's also an extent to which I feel...so many things I wanted to do by age 28 that have been left undone. Have The Disappearance finished, published, with more brain children on the way. Finished, or at least, be en route to a PHD, even though I'm not sure I want academia to be my life anymore. Have learned to be braver, not to worry so much whether people liked her or not, to not worry to be the brightest, wittiest and prettiest in the room. To be someone worthwhile instead, a better wordsmith, a better theorist. Something concrete for them to be proud of and I never feel that I've measured up to the things I should or want to be and somehow all of that is magnified whenever I see my family.

So means a great deal, when Mom squeezes my shoulder to say how happy she is with what I've made for myself, that I am happy. That I have Briony, that I have my friends, the girls, though she and Dad are still }: about rats. That she and DDad want to see my next short story. And I look at the things I want to do and the things I could be and think yeah, I can still do that.

Tying my hair back in writer's bun.

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Thor

Sun, 22 May 2011 06:09:31 GMT

It was apparently supposed to be the apocalypse this weekend so of course, Briony and I went out to see Thor. :p The trailers I saw had made it out to be Yet Another Superhero Movie, but several folks, namely newredshoes and ephemere made interesting noises about ( the movie's villain )

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The Post Easter Deluge

Wed, 27 Apr 2011 12:22:16 GMT

So...uhm, after five wonderful days of public holidays (six for me \o/), I, and many of our colleagues walked into work and...found ourselves swimming in books. Oceans of books. Mountains of books. Infinite galaxies and constellations of books. Our only consolation was that out there, somewhere, all of our fellow librarians in public libraries were going through the exact same thing. I think we were all a little starry eyed when we finally walked out of work.

And then I got home and found that my author interview was up on Rocket Kapre.
Eeeeeeiiiii.

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F'locked to the max

Sun, 06 Feb 2011 21:10:55 GMT

Fare thee well fantasywithbite. Once upon a time, I friended the comm out of a desire to check up on awesome books that I might otherwise be missing out on.

But of late, you've become fonder and fonder of vitirolic reviews. You seem to believe the amount of venom you spew is equivalent to the amount of smart and awesome that is you. It's...not, really. It makes it very difficult for me to engage with any valid argument you might be trying to make. People who have tried to explain this to you, or disagree with you suddenly find themselves within spitting range.

I don't know why it's taken me so long to defriend the comm (actually I do. What with househunting and keeping me and my darling fed and presentable for work, there has been precious little lj time to read my f'list), but for the sake of my blood pressure, I'm glad I have the time to do it now.

Bye!

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Superheroes with pink and lace:Cardcaptor Sakura

Sat, 29 Jan 2011 23:21:42 GMT

When I came home, Briony insisted I had to sit down and watch this with her. I was hesitant, because I remember watching Cardcaptors, the English dubbed version when I was a kid, and not being very impressed. It was Pokemon for girls --- which just goes to show, you can never, ever judge an anime from its English dub. Both Pokemon and Cardcaptor Sakura were horribly mangled in their English translations: scenes and entire episodes cut and spliced so they could be marketed to the translators' ideal Western audience --- Pokemon for younger children, Cardcaptor Sakura for the boys. Of course, as we all know, boys can't deal with girls in the spotlight, or the idea of other boys who like each other. So! Snip snip.

( Which is a shame, because guys, guys, the original? Is Made of Awesome )

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On writing and the New Years

Mon, 10 Jan 2011 00:26:31 GMT

Am back in Melbourne. My Briar Rose has gone to work, and I have most of the morning and a little of the afternoon off. A bare, but welcome reward in exchange for a Saturday shift. Spending time, cuddling the girls, feeding girls, reading Jennifer Potter's The Rose: A True History checking up on f'list and the net.

I hope the new years is treating you well. <3 I...am sorry I was so incognito last year, didn't talk to you guys that much, and reciprocate the kind of support you guys gave me when I was doing NaNo and when The Disappearance was being an evil brainchild. And as much as I know it was a combination of things: Sofie's illness and the constant fluctuation between OMG SHE'S GOING TO DIE and oh she's okay. okay.; coping with my social anxiety and stress People have been kind and awesome about it, so I am grateful of that, if cranky at myself for not being better.

So for the New Years, I am writing a list, a very Important Obligatory List for the New Year.

1) Finish editing the Damn Book already

1a) understand when you need a break from the damn book, and for the love of God, take it.

2) Spend more time with friends, online and offline. And on that note, Skype your family more often.

3)Be more disciplined and less scattered. It's no good getting up at 5:00 only to give the girls their medicine, give them conciliatory treats and then realize it's 5:30 and you only have 30 minutes to go. And no reading F.A. McNeil's The Heart's Landscape (alas, no longer online) just because you feel stuck and hoping someone else's gorgeous work will make you feel less so.

3a) Work out what you need to do in the space of the one hour you've given yourself. Or you will spend much of that one hour flailing.

4) Eat less take out. No seriously Elaine. Less take out for you.
4a) It doesn't matter how awesome roasted chicken is. No. Just no.

5) Read more Pinoy speculative fiction and history. If at all humanly possible, find ones written in Tagalog. ;__;

5a) on that note, read more sf online fiction, period.

*falls over* this is all manageable, yes?

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In which on New Year's comes rain

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 23:54:34 GMT

First, Happy New Years, friends. <3 May all your New Year's Resolutions bear fruit.

There's ... well. I hope to make a cheery New Year's post later, because there are things to be happy about and grateful for. But I currently a black cloud over my head

( cut, because I don't want to down anyone on New Year's Day )

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Joy and melancholy.

Sat, 25 Dec 2010 00:15:41 GMT

So after a long, long flight, I am back home in Manila with my family, and without my Briony. ;_; We had a somewhat celebratory and sad making last evening together on Wednesday---nomming Roast chicken and chips, and watching the West Wing, which to my surprise and delight, Briony enjoys. Unfortunately, rewatching it again, it is more headdesky than I remember (Why yes Toby. Insulting the president of Indonesia would be a Good Thing when you were planning to ask one of his senior aides for a favor was a stupid thing do, why do you ask? ) and there was that sad Christmas episode where Mrs. Landingham talks about missing her sons, a sixteen year old gay kid died, and Toby talked to a dead Veteran's brother, and we were all: D: D: D: And cuddled each other and Alice and Sofie, who did not understand what was wrong with Mums.

It was...odd...walking into the house, into my room, with all these familiar things --- my cabinet of books, my owl and stuffed animals -- and remember that I haven't seen them for more than a year. It's wonderful and strange to be back with my family, in the house where I grew up. And being back here --- I'm glad I did come back. I am still sad that my Briony is not here -- I hope there will be a time when she can fly back with me.

Writing wise---aargh. I told myself that I would finish the edits of the Disappearance by the end of this year. This did not happen, I am half way through what feels like the eleventh round of edits and rewriting and I half feel like chucking the brain child in the bin. Or sending it for a visit with stern and disciplinary aunts, so that we will both have a break, and it will come back more polished and civilized and less wild. (Incidentally, I saw Splice on the plane. Frustrating movie, because there are aspects of it that I love --- but it's immensely headdesky and rage-inducing for all of these reasons. I would dearly love a Frankenstein movie that had a mother/daughter dynamic, and didn't have fucked notions about gender and gender roles.)

Er. Tangent. I went off on it. *chagrin*

Merry Christmas, everybody.

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Dear Amigos and Amigas : we can has Harry Potter +friends y/y

Wed, 24 Nov 2010 10:36:40 GMT

Briony and I would like to submit a modest proposal. Who would like to come and see The Deathly Hallows Part I with us this Saturday night at Nova cinema? (we're thinking of the 6: 40 pm showing). The more the merrier---I know some of you are up to your necks in work/stress. A few hours with friends and an escapist franchise might be what the doctor ordered.

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The Widow and the Princess of the Dwende

Thu, 04 Nov 2010 22:56:27 GMT

Usok # 2 is out, and "The Widow and the Princess of the Dwende", my NaNo that turned into a short story, is up.

Go read. And Eliza Victoria's Elsewhere, and Kate Aton Oasis' 100% of Me. I hope you enjoy the stories and the pretty art, and please, do tell the artists and writers if you do. ;)

Thank you to Paolo Chikiamco, who picked up the story, and who has been awesome and patient throughout the whole, massive editing process and polished the story to what it is. And thank you to Mark Bulahao, who captured Widow Zamorra and her family, and the frayle in his gorgeous art.

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Usok # 2: I can has release date?

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 22:53:16 GMT

You certainly do! :D

Table of Contents:

100% of Me by Kate Aton-Osias

Elsewhere by Eliza Victoria

The Widow and the Princess of the Dwende by Elaine Cuyegkeng

Artwork by K. Lapeña, Mark Bulahao, MJ Pajaron, and VN Benedict

I've seen the artwork for all of the stories and guys, they're amazing. To the artist who did the "The Widow and the Princess of the Dwende," maraming salamat. It's beautiful. <3

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On melancholia or thwarted desires

Fri, 01 Oct 2010 23:43:48 GMT

In the past few days, the girls have come down with the sniffles. ): In Lickerish's case, a slight rattle. Sniffles and rattles are literally, deathly serious things for personages as tiny as rats, and though their breeder has assured us the girls are not that bad, it is ill advised for sick rats to travel.

So we still have an empty cage, packets of dry food and wet food stuck in the freezer waiting to be opened. Their chew toys are still unopened, in their packages. We are hoping, hoping they will get better soon and can come home next week.

(I would love to write a story about rats, but the story in my head is developing into a strange little fairy tale and I am not sure I will be to look at my girls in the eye when they finally arrive. D:)

Also, editing my novel on the train is...well. At the end of the week, my eyes hurt, my head hurts, and I don't think I got very much done, but I'm not sure what else I can do. And I think I am coming down with something, because I am exhausted and now my mother has dropped in and wants to see my workplace. D: I love the trains, I love riding out to work, but I don't want to go, this Saturday morning.

But Briony and I went out for a date last night, and we ate crepes and lay on the lawn, under the lights of the State Library. I love my girl.

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I've Been to a Marvelous Party

Sat, 25 Sep 2010 10:31:20 GMT

...Which is why I've been incognito for the past couple of weeks on the internet. >.< Hi everybody. How have you all been?

I have not...really been to a marvelous party for three straight weeks, but I have had several marvelous things happen. Possibly things that merit their own posts.

1) I have a short story coming out soon, "The Widow and the Princess of the Dwende" via USOK. It's...OMG, you guys. It's a story that grew while I was writing "The History of the Enkanta" during Nano 2009. It's about matriarchal insect societies who are more than what they are, of people under Spanish rule, and the compromises and alliances they made to survive. It will have its own artwork --- the prospect of which still blows my mind and which I cannot wait to see.

2) I went to Aussiecon. With my girlfriend. YES I KNOW THAT WAS WEEKS AGO. D:

And oh my god you guys. I wish I had been able to write during the con, that I had had the energy to blog when we came stumbling home after the long, glorious days. Because (some weirdness with bookseller aside) it was wonderful. We met Cat Valente, Ellen Kushner and Delia Sherman, Seanen McGuire, people who we've adored from afar. We attended panels on feminism in fantasy, cyberpunk and all of its cousins and and *squeeful noises.* Did I not tell you that several items on this entry merited their own posts? (Possibly their own subposts. Especially the hung Hugos. Kim Stanley Robinson, you are lovely man and a beautiful writer but you are a sadistic bastard D:).

3) We are picking up our girls on Thursday <3 <3 <3 \o/ I made their dry mix for them this morning. It has rat cubes, oats, pepitas, almonds, spelt, pearled barley and buckwheat, lentils and brown rice. I am looking at the plastic container Briony has gotten for it, and I am all :D :D :D

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Shelter from storm

Fri, 16 Jul 2010 09:04:32 GMT

I am very, very grateful to friends who have looked after us, and fed us, held my hand when I was freaking out, and made was watch new shows v. pretty, very awesome and amoral people fight crime. I am grateful to friends who gave us a safe place to be, given us legal advice, and offered us networks, comfort, a shoulder to cry on, and an ear to listen to, to people who have commented online and expressed concern for our safety.

And also, cuddle their cats, be they skittish or be they sooks.

_bounce_, vivienne_aster, fnoo, minna, lena_supercat, everyone. I am grateful that you are my friends.

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Sun, 04 Jul 2010 08:37:35 GMT

Why I want to kill my cousin:

1) Sent me email destroying all illusion that we were in anyway out to Aunt Helen and family:

Suggested to me (the very atttached girlfriend) that we should conduct a little matchmaking and asked if Briony was in any way a suitable date for a boy we knew and .

Why I cannot kill my cousin

Because he is my Aunt Helen's darling boy.

Because he is very nice.

Because he gave us a zip file of Lois Bujold's series so we could see the awesome for ourselves.

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In conclusion: CATS

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 01:43:17 GMT

Not ours, alas. Briony and I are currently cat/flat sitting for our two wonderful friends, vivienne_aster and fnoo while they are abroad enjoying their honeymoon. So we are currently experiencing all the wonderful things we will experience when we finally (!) have our kittens.

For the first time in my life, I am experiencing what it would be like to have a cat as a writer's familiar, and you guys. Jabba (Who is affectionately nicknamed Jabberwocky) keeps jumping on the desk and crawling over the keyboard so I will stop what I am doing and pet him. He will then jump on my lap and grasp my arm. As in, he will put out his left paw and hook his left claw over my sleeve at the elbow. It is adorable. Because I am on a deadline, I had to eventually put down the law and refuse him access to my lap and the keyboard while I'm writing, but it was adorable. (He's quite put out about this, but I am making up for lack of desk-time by snuggling with him on the couch at night. And kitty treats, when he can stand to have them)

Lestat (who is Basement Cat) was cranky at us for a day or so for not being his person. (vivienne_aster did warn us this would be the case. But after Briony and I fed him, wooed with brush, kitty treats, and several meals, we have discovered his misanthropic reputation is (B: LIES! LIES AND TREACHERY he's just a big softy, really) He plays with his younger brother, has allowed himself to be patted, purrs very loudly to make his appreciation known. He's even rubbed up against our legs. Equally adorable (though more...cunning) are his attempts to gain access to Jabba's room by standing outside and meowing musically like Jabba. Which has worked. Once. I heard a meow, went to the door grumbling about cats and their inability to make us their mind as regards to in and out and found Lestat sitting where a Jabba should be.

Jabba meanwhile, wants all the attentions. NOW. NOW NOW. Which makes making sure Lestat gets love and attention too (which he does like, but is shyer and less devious about getting it) slightly more difficult. If we pet Jabba in Lestat's view, he will just sulk. But Jabbs will sneakily come up as if to rub himself against Lestat and take the pets for himself. If Briony and I are not careful, this sometimes results in two decidedly put -out cats. Briony is trying to be fair, and make it clear to Jabba that Lestat is entitled to his fair share of petting. He is not pleased.

In conclusion: CATS. OMG. I do not know how my father has dismissed them as evil misanthropes for YEARS. As in, ALL OF MY LIFE.

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So Briony and I watched Avatar

Mon, 24 May 2010 08:15:22 GMT

The DVD was free, Ok? AND IT WAS ALL BRIONY'S IDEA.

So. I loathed the movie as much I thought it would (James Cameron's thesis apparently being that if only all the colonized peoples of the world had somehow got together with their local wildlife, and found a Straight White Messiah then none of us would be having the problems that we do. 8} But...surprisingly, we did find things to talk about, and that there were things we liked about it.)

And there was Zoe. <3

( Cut for people who still want to watch the movie )

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Fri, 14 May 2010 16:43:09 GMT

I've been talking to Briony about starting up a YA/SF blog, in part to add value to my resume (hey guys, I'm volunteering and I'm writing this awesome blog, and this is evidence of my literacy and my keeping up with social trends, Y/Y?.

I can forsee problems with this: I...expend entirely too much energy on applications. So much so that it's hard to find time to write The Disappearance and edit the "The Widow and the Princess of the Dwende." BUT: if nothing else, I might feel like less of a Pavlovian dog while job hunting.

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Story ramblings

Tue, 06 Apr 2010 11:08:12 GMT

I am tired, but pleased. I just completed edits to The Widow and the Dwende (Now just the Widow Zamora, since a large potion of the Dwende was cut out---though the Dwende are still there), and sent them off to the editor, two days early. *falls over* my eyes ache a little, and my arm is stiff. But I have an edited short story finished! And I do think it is cleaner---and stronger for the edits. (A lot of it, I owe to my B, who spent yesterday afternoon reading it and going over the draft with me, and the things I could do to improve the story. I <3 my B, my beautiful B.

And listening to this all helped too, an audio of Catherynne Valente's Bones Like Black Sugar, a retelling of Hansel and Gretel. The reader has a beautiful voice, she does justice to Catheyrnne's story, which is grisly and poignant and haunting.

And I am going to get back to the Disappearance. I've reedited and rewritten Chapters 1-7, with st_aurafina's help, cheerleading and poking ;). Grazi, my friend.

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A Brief History of the Enkanta-Chapter 11

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 23:31:56 GMT

34341 / 50000
(68.68%)

( Chapter 11 )

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A Brief History Chapter 2 Part I

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:57:14 GMT

3, 444 words, both for yesterday and today. And good golly, I still have to catch up! Maybe tonight, after looking over my selection criteria and cover letter for Job Hunting.

( Chapter 2 )

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